Life's Philosophies

(for lack of a better word)

Occasionally I hear things that seem like good, reasonable advice, like "make time for people who make time for you". I haven't decided if it's good advice or not but I like the direction it's going.

Once in a great while, though, I come up with a philosophy that sticks with me long term and directs me in a very day-to-day way. I think I have three main ones that drive everything I do, so I'll list them here. If you have tracked me here from other comments or blogs, you may be familiar with these already, but I thought it was time to put them all in one place:

1) Monsters are real.
2) Live life as if it was ideal.
3) Seek happiness, not perfection.

"Monsters are real."

When I was little, I thought monsters were big, hairy things with fangs that lived in your closet or under your bed. Now that I'm older, I wish it was that easy. I mean, a big hairy monster with fangs would be easy to identify and if it lived in the closet, at least you'd know where it was at. Now I know that real monsters are much, much worse than we ever dreamed of when we were kids.

Real monsters look just like people and they might be anywhere.

This isn't meant to be a basis for paranoia, which is something you can certainly develop by watching too much nightly news or reading too many history books, but it's important to understand that they exist. Terry Pratchett once mentioned that the important thing to teach children isn't that monsters are real (we are born knowing this), it's to teach them that monsters can be beaten.

I think that it's important to remind adults that they are real. We tend to forget. And then one day they show up and fly an airliner into a skyscraper.

Don't create unrealistic notions about the nobility and universal brotherhood of mankind. Not all of them think like you do.

"Live life as if it was ideal."

This is an important philosophy to have if you're going to have the previous philosophy. This one states that while there is a very small chance that the person approaching you in the dark alley is a serial killer looking to get a start on his career, you should treat him as if he was a nice person who would probably be fun to play Scrabble with. In an ideal world, he would, in fact, be a nice person who is fun to play Scrabble with and the only way you'll ever find out is to approach with that attitude in mind. Whereas if you treated him as a potential serial killer and, say, sprayed him with pepper spray and kicked him in the gemmies without provocation you would never find out about Scrabble.

To put it another way, don't let fears of negative possibilities ruin your life. Make your choices. Other people's choices are up to them. If they do wrong, then that's on them. If you assume they will do wrong and treat the situation as such, you will miss out on life's joys. If you always wear a raincoat and carry an umbrella you will never get wet but you'll also never feel the sun on your skin.


Incidentally, I wrap up these first two philosophies into one package I call "optimistic cynicism": the practice of approaching situations as if they were ideal even when I feel they aren't, which is most of the time.

"Seek happiness, not perfection."

This philosophy applies to everything from vacations to relationships to what you are doing right now this very second.

Are you happy where you are? Happy with what you are doing?

When I ask this, do you think of other things you could be doing? Things which might be more fun? Do you worry that you're wasting your time? Carpe diem? Are you seizing the day? Might you be able to seize it better if you were doing something else?

These are foolish questions. Dangerous questions. "Carpe diem" has to be the worst philosophy to hit our society in the last 20 years. Seize the day...bah!

Never ask yourself if you could be doing something better. If you could be someplace better. If you could be with someone better. If you are "living life to the fullest".

Ask yourself if you are happy.

If you are happy, then be happy. Don't waste that happiness by worrying about ways in which you might become happier.

If you like where you are and what you are doing then stick with it. "The perfect is the enemy of the good". You can find yourself old and miserable because you cast aside too many good things in the search of the perfect thing. By all means, throw away the things that make you unhappy but don't throw away the good just because you think you can find better.